Before I start divulging my deepest and darkest stories/fantasies, I want you guys to understand that I am not some sexually aggressive predator. I am not a whinging female that is high maintenance (okay some might disagree on the latter description but screw them I say). I am a new age girl, with some old fashioned ideas that are hard to integrate into todays world. I am hoping by writing this blog I will gain some insight, either from the recesses of my own soul or from astute readers of this blog, about why love fails miserably each and every time. If you are in a happy relationship reading this, perhaps we should talk in 5-10 years. I would also like to point out that I am not generally pessimistic but in that last 12 months I have come to know 10 couples who are divorcing. What the hell is going on here?
Why have I become so obsessed with this idea of finding the perfect guy when I see every relationship around me breaking down. Yes i know there is no such thing as the perfect guy…i get that. But can there be a perfect way of meeting someone? a perfect courtship? The seeds of such fantasies were sown when i was a child listening to my mother recount the tale of how she met my dad.
Mom was a good muslim girl from Iran. Tall, beautiful and bit of a goody goody three shoes if you ask me. She was dropping her friend of at a university in Bombay and helping her get admission into her course. My dad, bit of a hippie from the unknown tiny island of Mauritius, thought he was too cool for school and that the ladies probably went apeshit over him…hate to kill the dream dad. He too was at the same university helping his mate with the same issue when he saw mom across the grounds and turned to his friend and said ‘OMG (ok i’m sure that abbrev didn’t exist back in the day), that woman is gorgeous, go and ask her out for coffee. Not sure why he didn’t do this himself, bit of a wimp move.
So the geeky indian friend goes up to mom and her friend and asks politely ,’ hi my name is Raj. My friend and I over there couldn’t help notice two beautiful ladies and we were wondering if you would like to join us for a coffee sometime?’. Now i’m not sure how much of this story is true but apparently mom, in a shocked manner, offended by the mere suggestion she would have coffee which inevitably would lead to sex, slapped poor raj and walked off. An extremely ballsy move, although today it would be termed CRAAAAAAZY BITCH!!!
Several months later dad caught a glimpse of this ravishing beauty across the crowded streets of Mumbai, which for those who have not been to the city is an incredulous moment of fate! He waived frantically to get her attention. Finally their eyes met and she was slightly worried about this young man who was grinning from ear to ear. He ran over dribbling on about how he met her several months ago and of course mom didn’t remember him. Mom was with her friend at the time, who developed a crush on dad. My cunning father used this poor unknowing friend and asked innocently, ‘ would you like to go out to dinner? although my only condition is that you will have to bring your friend her along (my mom).’ So long story short, the dumb girl brought mom along just so she could score a dad with my father. hah. Rookie mistake!
At one point mom’s friend went to the bathroom to powder her nose, or whatever it is girls do for hours in those toilets (beats me) and my dad had a few sneaky minutes with the woman of his dreams. He looked at her and said coyly ‘ hey i hear you’re learning french’. Mom answered cooly ‘yeah so?’. My dad replied ,’ well do you know what je t’aime means?’. Of course goody goody there was clueless and thought he was swearing at her because his expression had changed. Being a proud woman of persian descent she got up in a huff and stormed out the restaurant with my father on her tail and the poor friend still caking her face in make up.
Mom found a cab, jumped in, and slammed the door only to hear a wail from outside the window. It slowly dawned on her that this screeching cat was the sound of dad screaming as his fingers got jammed into the cab door. ouchie! She felt really bad and got out to make sure he was okay which obviously he was not given he probably broke a few pharynges and had significant periungal bleeding. ‘Oh i’m soooo sorry!! i really didn’t see! are you okay?’ blah blah blah.
‘Oh don’t worry about it. Because one day i’m going to marry you and you will bear my children.’ Then there was my sister and I.
BAM!!!!! crazy? creepy? yes i’ll pay that. But persistent and knowing exactly what he wanted in life? yes! at the tender age of 23 he saw a woman, fell in love and for months or years after he pursued her until they married.
It’s sunday morning and i had a massive night yesterday and cannot be bothered getting into the details how she was pursued but suffice it to say that he went to Iran three times from Mauritius, despite being broke, and kept asking for her hand in marriage until my grandfather cracked.
The point of that long sordid story was to say this: THAT SHIT DON’T HAPPEN NO MORE!!!!!! and i want to know why. Why do I keep meeting boys/ men that only want one thing. They don’t ever want to settle down because our new culture states that we must keep having sex with different individuals until one day we realized ‘oh shit…i have hit my thirties and my sperm is getting a little stale’, i best use them while i can. What happened to the days of old and can we bring it back. This may take a mass movement but I think if enough people feel the same way it is a possibility!