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THE SUDANESE/LEBANESE

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You know you’re getting too old when the young 22 year old asks how old you are and when you say 22 he goes , ‘REALLY?’. NO, NOT REALLY ASSHOLE but why couldn’t your mom have taught you any better???? how did the line ‘never ask a woman her age’ get lost along the way??? 

Enough about the rant but it follows on from last nights debacle. Feeling a little cocky and confident in my bright green short shimmy dress i accompanied a bunch of guy friends to a happening nightclub on the harbour.

A word to the bouncers out there: when you see a girl pay her money and get wrist stamped as you are standing 1 foot away, you look kind of retarded asking ‘can I see your stamp?’. After this unbelievable act of horrendous stupidity I swaggered into the club and was met by a mob of good looking people. It was warm, everyone had a tinge of sweaty glow…some might even say, they outright stank and it was only 8pm but it was a nice atmosphere.  

We were getting VIP treatment, drinks were flowing, music was pumping with a live band throwing out some old school tunes with the likes of no diggity no doubt, easy like sunday morning, amongst others. Star look alikes , cuz i swear Avon Barksdale from ‘the wire’ was walking around that place, were milling about.

Of course an hour in, i got bored of all the fakeness and decided to wander and see some other friends and walked into a group of boys and casually asked ,’ hey are you guys here with a girl called beck?’. I wasn’t really looking at them (or for beck for that matter) when I asked but vaguely made out a few shaking of heads, then I heard the guy in front of me say ,’hey don’t i know you? don’t you work at ‘the alfred?’. That’s a hospital i used to work at!!!! I quickly turned my gaze to him thinking ‘shit, i’m dressed a little slutty right now, this could be a colleague, be cool be cool.’ But simultaneously i was thinking ‘ daaaamn u hot! how the hell could i work with you and not have tapped that?’   Instead I said casually ,’yeah i did, what did you do again?’

Turns out he was the hot guy that served me my lunch at the cafe!!!!!!!!!! He used to slip me freebies all the time and discount my drinks and he made my day each time i saw him!!! I was so shocked when i recognized him, i babbled stupidly for only a few minutes before i recovered my cool. He had started his own buisness since then and was in the cafe industry and i lamely told him i had swapped to soy milk…..seriously i don’t think he would have cared if i drank coke mixed with orange juice. So the 411 on this guy is: he is half sudanese and half lebanese…looks like his is from latin america….the most beautiful silky voice and the nicest manner on him. damn!

Later in the night I was walking around like a lost puppy when i bumped into him and he goes ,’hey will u be okay getting back home?’. I feigned fear at being left by my friends and he goes ,’ look my cousin is not drinking so take my number and I will let you know when we are leaving and if you need a ride we will make sure you get home safe’. CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!! I batted my eyelashed and said ,’yes i don’t know if I will find my mates but let me have a look’ … of course as i turned around, bumped into them, awkward!.

And indeed as I was walking into my house he called to make sure i was okay getting home and we had a sweet conversation. it was the cutest…a misadventure, well not quite with him. The part of the misadventure i left out was meeting a young italian/brazilian guy who had eyed me all night and finally tried to kiss me and stuff his gum into my mouth. EWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!! No douchebag, if I named all the gram negative and positive bacteria, not to mention the anaerobes that would have been embedded in your gum, you would never chew again!!!!! 

See if every man just chewed his own damn gum and checked up on their girl to make sure she was safe this world would be a better place. Girls just want some confidence and to know they are being care for…too much?

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